There now follows something that can loosely be described as an interview. I would like to thank Shave The Monkey for putting me through this experience which at times felt like "Skin the Folkmaster".

Transcripting this one has been a complete nightmare, but great fun to do. My nearest description of the experience is like recording an old "slap-stick" black and white movie with no picture and only the sound working.

So here goes, warts and all……….

Folkmaster: Who has been your greatest musical influence and why?

These were the answers that were shouted out - Jethro Tull, Captain Beefheart, Camel, Pyewacket and Focus.

Folkmaster: Why Jethro-Tull?

Kevin: Because it was the first concert I went to where I looked at the drums and said "I can't do that". I was a bit big headed when I was younger and could play most drum parts, but it was Barriemore Barlow who inspired me to go home and learn how to do it properly

Sound of tuning the guitar and the perfect soundtrack for the Folking.com Shave interview - available from all good record stores.

Folkmaster: If you could be one person in history who would it be and why?

Answers were: I wouldn't because they are all dead.

Duncan: Dave Pegg [of Fairport Convention and Jethro Tull fame]. We had to pay him a bloody fortune for the last album, quick get the plug in "Good Luck Mr Gorsky."

Carolyn: I've been thinking a lot about this question and I don't think women had a great time in history.

Guido: You could have been a bloke!

Folkmaster - Why not be Ghengis Khan, Carolyn?

Carolyn: No I have already been him in a previous life. I guess it would have to be Mary Antoinette.

Kevin: I would quite like to be Emma Bunting for 24 hours.

Where do you think the future of the music industry lies

Duncan: I didn't know you needed a bleeding degree to answer these questions.

General opinion was it lay on the Internet.

Kevin: I think the future lies in attractive young people like me.

Folkmaster: Kevin, you are not Emma Bunting and stop stroking your knee!

Carolyn: It depends on whether you treat music as an industry or something you play and enjoy. As long as the band has talent and the sound that comes out is all right it doesn't matter. 

Folkmaster: What's your favourite movie?

The general consensus was: 'The Name of the Rose' [I guess this is why half the band has a thing about hessian robes and historic follies - see later comments], 'It's a Wonderful Life', 'The Blue's Brothers and anything by Monty Python.

Folkmaster: Tell me about the new album?

Carolyn: Every track, except one, was written by ourselves. The album's called 'Good Luck Mr Gorsky' and to find out why you have to look on the internet. [clue: look under jobs for Nasa].

Shave: It's a different feel from what we've been used to, it's another stage in our evolution. Moving away from traditional folk. There's a lot of saxophone in it. There are twelve tracks, five of which are vocal and Steve makes his vocal debut on three tracks.

Folkmaster: Steve, do you feel you've come of age now that you're doing some of the vocals?

Steve: I finally got round to it [cue sarcastic 'whoooooo' from the Shave camp]. I get to play harmonica, which Carolyn hates and this makes it even more pleasurable.

Carolyn: There's only one good place for his harmonica and it's a good job he's got his trousers done up!

Folkmaster: Where was your most memorable live performance?

Shave: Cropredy in '94, it was a really big gig and great atmosphere, as well as being profitable. Having been there as a spectator for many years, it was amazing to be up on the stage, playing to that many people. Our first big gig was Cambridge earlier the same year, although we were a bit nervous as it was live on television and on the radio; but at Cropredy we actually relaxed and enjoyed it.

Folkmaster: I was at Cropredy that year and it was the first time I saw you. I remember buying both the 'The Unseelie Court' and 'Dragonfly' [the first two Shave albums] after hearing the set.

Carolyn : I think we got a good sound and some great feedback from the audience.

Folkmaster: If you could use one of your songs to promote something what would you choose and why?

Shave: We could do a commercial and get sponsorship from Swan for the perfect match [see cover of 'Good Luck Mr Gorsky']. Quite a lot of our stuff could be used on a sports programme such as Grandstand, though maybe not our songs about dead people! We could also use 'Hypochondriac' to promote Beecham's powders…….

When you're not involved with the band, what do you spend you're time doing?

Most of Shave have kids and their usual day jobs to contend with. Carolyn's a green belt in Karate, and Duncan's a psychotherapist.

Folkmaster: If you could sit next to anyone at a dinner party, who would it be and what would you ask them?

Guido: It would be me and I'd ask myself to move up a bit.

Carolyn: I'd like to sit next to Annie Lennox and talk to her about singing.

(The rest of the answers were drowned out by Alan Burke's timely tuning antics).

Folkmaster: What was the first single you ever bought?

The following were shouted out:

'Good News Week' by Hedgehoppers Anonymous

'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen

'Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep' by Middle of the Road

'Elizabeth Rules OK' by The Goodies

'Bits and Pieces' by The Dave Clarke Five

Folkmaster: What luxury would you take with you to a desert island?

Guido: I'd like to take the hurdy-gurdy because I'd like to learn to play one.

Duncan: [referring to Guido's answer] I'd like to take a hammer.

Kevin: I'd take a forest. [It's Kevin, don't expect an explanation].

Carolyn: A Swiss army knife.

Webmaster: [very reluctantly] No I'm not, because you don't understand the question itself.

Folkmaster: Welcome back Shave!

Carolyn: I can't stand the things.

Steve: I've never been able to smell one of the thing's, never mind eat them.

Duncan: I've always liked the spicy ones, but I used to have to put a lot of tomato puree in them.

Kevin: I had a sweet and sour one once, but it's not something I eat often.

Folkmaster: What's your favourite Shave album and track?

Kevin: My favourite album is still 'Dragonfly'.

Carolyn: I still like the tune 'Dragonfly' best.

Kevin: Mine is 'Witchfinder General' because I don't play on it, so I can just listen.

But the general consensus is the latest album 'Good Luck Mr Gorsky' is their most complete work to date.

Folkmaster: For me the first three opening tunes [Unseelie/Stella/Jewsih Tune] of 'The Unseelie Court' are my favourite. Are you going to be playing those tonight?

Duncan: No, I sold the hummelchen bagpipes so we can't do it.  

Folkmaster: [takes a short time to console himself after this tragic news] If you could be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

Carolyn: I would like to think it would be musicianship and making other people happy, because I'm having an awful time at the moment, and at least this way I can make someone else happy.

Bryan [Carolyn's other half]: Thanks, don't start on that again!

[Folking.com domestic interlude….normal transmission resumes shortly] 

Duncan: Carolyn, you need therapy.

Carolyn: If you want therapy listen to 'Broken Rock' on the new album, then you know why I need therapy.

Folkmaster: Is the 'Rock' about Brian?

Carolyn: No, it's not.

Duncan: It's not part of him! [Good Luck Mr Causton]

Carolyn: It's one of the few songs that I've written which is not about a fictitious event or something in history. Most of my songs are about other people, this one isn't…………….. [Cue big silence from band].

Anyway, moving on……….

Guido: I'd like to be remembered for my sexual prowess. [Good Luck Mr Rincon]

Brian: My dream is that my son will become Prime Minister. [Unfortunately I can't help you there, I'm the Folkmaster not David Dimbleby (political TV presenter)]

Folkmaster: What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?

Steve: My flies came undone on stage and this woman wandered up and said "Excuse me, excuse me" in between songs. I thought great, autograph time and she said "Your flies are undone!"

Folkmaster: So you went on stage with your tackle hanging out, you're lucky Duncan didn't try and play it! [Good Luck Mr Collins]

What's the most outrageous thing that you've ever done?

Duncan: Playing with [Jimmy] Page and [Robert] Plant.

Guido: That's not outrageous, is it?

Duncan: Well, no but I just wanted to mention it! Nigel, their usual hurdy-gurdy player, whose much better at it than me, couldn't make 'Later…' [The Jools Holland Show], so they asked me to do a couple of days with them. It was great, I earned a bloody fortune, did very little work and musically it was very easy.

Folkmaster: So it wasn't really outrageous at all, except, I suppose, the fee.

Duncan: There was this promotional photo shoot we did which was based on a Victorian style theme, where we had our trousers down to our ankles. We did it as a competition on the Shave website [http://ds.dial.pipex.com/guido.rincon/ ] and we asked people to come up with a funny caption. The best one we got was "Are you sure this is how you play the hurdy-gurdy Duncan?

Guido: That's pretty outrageous isn't it, running around a folly with your trousers halfway down your knees on a cold, wet and windy October morning and allowing somebody to take a photograph.

Carolyn: I haven't done anything really outrageous, except perhaps setting fire to someone's armpits.

Webmaster: You don't consider that outrageous?

Bryan: Not by her standards.

Carolyn: I've set fire to all sorts of things! (Folkmaster: I think you need an appointment on Duncan's couch).